Wait Wait Don't Tell Me on KUER 1 high band

Carl reads three quotes from the weeks news: A Gold Medal in Olympic Spoilers; An Awkward Moment in Poland; and The Spammer in Chief.

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: First up: We're going to need a slower boat.

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing his week with Simon Amstell, Kyrie O'Connor, and Mo Rocca. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Right now, it is time for the WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME.

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Kyrie O'Connor, and Simon Amstell. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you would like to play any of our games on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Or, you can click the contact us link on our website, that's waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show at the Fox Theater in Atlanta this September.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Kyrie O'Connor has the lead, Peter. She has four points. Simon Amstell and Mo Rocca are tied for second. They both have two points.

MO ROCCA: My god.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, panel, what will Mitt Romney bring back from his trip abroad? Simon Amstell?

SIMON AMSTELL: Where's he going?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kyrie O'Connor?

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Pippa Middleton's bottom.

SAGAL: What will she do without it? And Mo Rocca?

MO ROCCA: Luxemburg for Mrs. Romney to put in the backyard under a gazebo.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

CARL KASELL: And, if Romney brings back any of those things, panel, we'll ask you about it on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME.

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell, and here's your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everybody they can join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. And this September 20th, we will be at the Fox Theater in Atlanta. For tickets and more information, go to wbez.org and you can find a link at our website which is, as always, waitwait.npr.org.

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Simon, good news for travelers, thanks to a ruling last week, you are now free to do what when you're passing through airport security?

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Brian Babylon and Jessi Klein. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl is chosen to be Mitt Rhyme-Ney's running mate.

(LAUGHTER)

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell, and here's your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you. Thank you everybody. I will tell you, I am just as excited as you are, because the guest on our show later on will be someone who's dear to my heart, Norton Juster. He's the author of "The Phantom Tollbooth." That was my very favorite book when I was a kid.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everybody they can join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in beautiful downtown Chicago, Illinois. For tickets and more information, you go to wbez.org, and you can find a link over at our website, which is waitwait.npr.org.

Right now, panel, of course, it is your turn to answer some questions about the weeks' news. Jessi, the company responsible for the Your Baby Can Read products announced it was going bust this week, after people finally realized what?

JESSI KLEIN: Their baby cannot read.

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing his week with Jessi Klein, Brian Babylon and Paula Poundstone. And, here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Paula Poundstone has the lead, Peter. She has four points. Jessi Klein has three. Brian Babylon has two points.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, panel, what is in Mitt Romney's tax returns? Paula Poundstone?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: The story of a little fella who dreamed of making lots of money, and did.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Jessi Klein?

JESSI KLEIN: Last year, his largest multimillion dollar investment was in a very rare Beanie Baby.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Brian Babylon?

BRIAN BABYLON: He actually bought the phantom tollbooth and tried to write it off as a tax write-off.

(LAUGHTER)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org, there you can find out about attending our weekly live shows at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago.

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Making A Splash, Apocalypse Realty and Putting the "Big" in Big Toe.

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Our panelists predict what will be the big surprise at the Olympic Opening Ceremonies in a couple weeks.

Carl reads three quotes from the week's news: A Chilly Reception, Tour de Courtroom, and An Amicable Split.

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: An Error of Olympic Proportions.

Our panelists tell us three stories of a celebrity workplace hazard, only one of which is true.

More questions for the panel: We All Scream, Buzzkill and Something's Fishy.

Ice-T has made a name for himself in rap, metal, breakdance movies, video games, and, most recently, on Law and Order: SVU. We're hoping to pitch him on our new idea for a TV show: Law and Order: NPR, in which we solve crimes and then encourage the still traumatized but grateful victims to pledge at any level.

Ice-T appeared in the documentary Pimps Up, Ho's Down, so we've invited him to play a game called "Pimps Up, Pantyhose Down." Three questions about a different kind of hos(e.)

Originally broadcast on May 15, 2010

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell, and here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. Thank you everybody, you're so great. So this week, we're turning the producer's chair over to you, as we broadcast the segments and moments from the show that you told us you most wanted to hear again.

Transcript

CARL KASELL: Being NPR, we often turn to experts for their opinion and their analysis.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

And you wanted to hear again from someone we brought onto the show in April of 2010, when we needed a particular perspective on an important story. Joining us as well were panelists Roxanne Roberts, Mo Rocca and Charlie Pierce.

Tony Shalhoub is a normal guy who's become famous playing eccentric people. He was the obsessed Italian chef in Big Night, the alien pawnshop owner in the Men in Black movies, and, of course, the obsessive compulsive detective on the TV series Monk. Now, Tony has gone back to Broadway in Lend Me a Tenor.

In true "Not My Job" fashion: because Tony has played a Monk, we're going to ask him three questions about nuns.

Originally broadcast March 6, 2010

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell, and here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. Thanks everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Listen, this week we are doing just what we are told. It's a listener request edition of WAIT WAIT. And one thing many of you asked for was an all Mo show.

(APPLAUSE)

In 2005, President Clinton founded the Clinton Global Initiative to address "the world's most pressing challenges." In 2011 in Chicago, Clinton hosted the CGI America meeting, with a focus on job creation and economic growth in the U.S.

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell, and here's your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium, in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. Thanks everybody. We have got a special show for you all today. It's our second ever Listener Request show, in which we asked via Twitter and our blog, to tell us what you're favorite WAIT WAIT moments were from the last year or so.