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Bluff The Listener


BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Negin Farsad and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host, who will magically appear if you say his name three times, Peter Sagal, Peter Sagal, Peter Sagal.



Hey, Bill. It worked.


SAGAL: Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.

Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

COURTNEY SANCHEZ: Hi, Peter. This is Courtney Sanchez (ph) from Lawrence, Kan.

SAGAL: Lawrence, Kan. - home of the Jayhawks, the University of Kansas.


SAGAL: Are you a student there?

SANCHEZ: Yes, I'm a second-year medical student at the University of Kansas School of Medicine.

SAGAL: Well, that's very exciting.


SAGAL: It's actually an interesting time to become a doctor - a little intimidating. Are you looking forward to actually, like, working with patients, or is it terrifying at this point?

SANCHEZ: No, I think it's mostly just exciting. There's a lot of things in the world that are scary, but taking care of people is - like, that's a big honor.

SAGAL: Oh, well, good for you. I'm glad you have that attitude, and I hope it lasts more than, say, through the first month...

SANCHEZ: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Because let me tell you something about people - we are annoying, especially when we're sick.

SANCHEZ: Fair enough. But I've nursed my husband through at least a couple of illnesses, so I think I can handle it.

SAGAL: Oh, if you've dealt with a man, then you're all set because nobody's worse than a man.

NEGIN FARSAD: (Laughter).

SANCHEZ: Yeah, I'm ready.

SAGAL: OK, good for you. All right, Courtney. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Courtney's topic?

KURTIS: Good job, do-gooders.

SAGAL: Being a good person can be hard. You have to be selfless, spend time and money. Plus, it's hard to think of fresh good deeds that haven't been done good before. So our panelists are going to tell you about somebody we found out about who helped out in a surprising way. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win our prize - the WAIT WAITer of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play?

SANCHEZ: Absolutely.

SAGAL: All right. First, let's hear from Negin Farsad.

FARSAD: The Cornwall Community Dog Park in Cornwall, Conn., is intensely popular. But when Hurricane Laura hit the tiny hamlet in May, downed trees damaged the park's railing, forcing the city council to close it down. Plans to repair the park have been stalled ever since, which is really surprising because government normally works so fast.

But anyways, after five long months of waiting, Shep Humphrey (ph) and his eight-pound Pomeranian, Charlie (ph), decided, enough. They were tired of playgroups in random fields where dogs had to socialize on leashes like animals, so Shep decided to stage a protest - a protest in which he took every dog in the neighborhood on an epic dog march. The rest of the owners carried signs that said no justice, no paws. The city council stepped in a poodle of injustice. Open the dog park. It's the leasht (ph) you can do. We're paying the ulti-mutt (ph) price.


FARSAD: Shep and his barkers blocked traffic, and the incessant barking had everyone making a noise complaint. City clerk Vera Demark (ph) issued a statement saying, we'll get the repairs done. Now stop barking at me. When asked if he was satisfied, Shep said, I'm like the Greta Thunberg of this dog park. I won't stop until justice is paw-ssible (ph).

SAGAL: A massive dog march to help open a dog park. Your next story of a super Samaritan comes from Roxanne Roberts.

ROBERTS: Derek Southland (ph) decided October was going to be his month to give back, so the Louisiana undertaker is taking a month-long break from the family business and donating his talents for charity, specifically for the Greater New Orleans Food Bank.

His starter package - nighttime rides for two people, mask required, in his hearse - $100 for a 60-minute drive around town. For another 200, he'll let you lie down in a satin-lined coffin in the back. Then there's his glow-up offer. For $250, he'll use all the makeup tricks he's perfected to make his dearly departed clients look their best for the living, who might be unhappy with their pandemic pallor.

And his ultimate "Night Of The Living Dead" package - the hearse ride, the makeover, a candlelight dinner in a cemetery and a sleepover in a historic mausoleum, which will set you back $1,000 per person on every date except the 31st. He's already sold that night for $10,000 a person. As of yesterday, he's booked every night and has already raised more than $25,000.

SAGAL: A funeral director in New Orleans offering his skills to anyone who might need them for charity. Your last story of a do-gooderist (ph) comes from Mo Rocca.

MO ROCCA: Cycling more than 2,500 miles to bring attention to the humanitarian crisis in civil war-torn Yemen doesn't sound like a laughing matter at all. But the dedicated young man who goes by the Twitter handle @RubyDrummr found a way to bring some comic relief by appealing to the fourth grader in all of us. He began his odyssey in Poo Poo Point, Wash., and ended it in Pee Pee Creek, Ohio.

Yes, these are real places. Poo Poo Point is really more of a mound on west Tiger Mountain that got its name from the steam whistle sounds back when it was a logging area. Pee Pee Creek in Ohio was named after an American settler who carved his initials, PP, in a tree and then presumably raised one leg to make it official.

When he finally arrived at his destination, @RubyDrummr tweeted, bro, I started crying tears of joy and then started laughing my ass off about crying over Pee Pee Creek.

FARSAD: (Laughter).

ROCCA: The nearly cross-country journey had @RubyDrummr whizzing through nine states. At one point, he passed Shartz Road. How do you know? You can still see skidmarks.


SAGAL: All right. Courtney. Somebody did something selfless this week. From Negin Farsad, was it a man who led a massive dog march to open up a dog park; from Roxanne Roberts, an undertaker, offering all of his skills, including, you know, glow-ups with his makeup skills, to anyone who wants it for charity; or, from Mo Rocca, a charity ride from Poo Poo to Pee Pee? Which of these was the real selfless deed we read about in the news this week?

SANCHEZ: I have a 4-year-old son who's very into potty humor, so I'm going to go with Mo's story.

SAGAL: Is your son available to be on our show someday?


SAGAL: He's - he'd fit in well. All right. You've chosen Mo's story of the bike ride from Poo Poo to Pee Pee. Well, we spoke to somebody who was deeply involved in this charitable effort.


RUBEN LOPEZ: No one has ever gone from Poo Poo to Pee Pee. There is no better opportunity...

SANCHEZ: (Laughter).

LOPEZ: ...To do something with my sense of humor and bring awareness.

SAGAL: That was Ruben Lopez himself, the brave cyclist who traveled all the way from Poo Poo Point to Pee Pee Creek to raise money for the good people of Yemen. Congratulations, Courtney. You and your son got it right. You're earned a point for Mo. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us. Take care, Courtney.

SANCHEZ: Thank you, all.

SAGAL: Good luck with that medical career.

ROBERTS: Bye-bye.


KURTIS: Bye-bye.


LITTLE RIVER BAND: (Singing) Hang on. Help is on its way. I'll be there as fast as I can. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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