BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Brian Babylon, Peter Grosz and Charla Lauriston. And here again is your host, a man who wants to know if his Invisalign counts as a tiny face mask, Peter Sagal.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill spins straw into gold with his friend Rhyme-pelstiltskin. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news. Brian.
BRIAN BABYLON: Yeah?
SAGAL: One year into lockdown, The New York Post reports that Zoom meetings are leading more and more men to do what?
BABYLON: Give me a slight hint.
SAGAL: A slight hint. Well, they're - for men, it's not called smoky eye; it's called, like, applewood bacon smoked eye.
BABYLON: Oh, you know what? I think men are - yes, they are, too. Men are touching up their makeup.
SAGAL: Exactly right, Brian.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Men who wouldn't otherwise know a Sephora from a pair of pantyhose are now turning to makeup to look younger on camera, not realizing everybody in Zoom is just looking at their own face, anyway. These - there are a bunch of new products aimed at men like manscara (ph) and guy shadow and lipstick that's actually just a stick you hit yourself on the lip with.
BABYLON: Peter, you know, we've done that show "Windy City Live" in Chicago.
SAGAL: We have. Oh, my God.
BABYLON: And they put makeup on you.
SAGAL: They do.
BABYLON: And I saw what I look, and I get it.
PETER GROSZ: Yeah.
BABYLON: You get your pretty boy on.
SAGAL: It's - you feel - you just feel good. You just feel...
BABYLON: Yeah, you feel, like, that inner Denzel. Like, everything's clicking. And then you look up. It's all on your collar. And you're like, gross.
CHARLA LAURISTON: (Laughter).
SAGAL: This is really great. I mean, now even a man's man can get into things like contouring. And pretty soon, like, Home Depot will bring in a makeup section with products like eyebrow spackle.
SAGAL: Oh, we'll have to mix up that color for you. How many gallons of this lip tint do you need? So the good news is now that men are wearing makeup, there will soon be legislation to have makeup covered by your health insurance.
LAURISTON: Ooh, I love it.
GROSZ: That's true.
SAGAL: All right. It is time for a new game that we're calling...
KURTIS: I Have Good News And Bad News.
SAGAL: We're all trying to be more optimistic this year. But, sometimes, you can't help it. Things just take a turn for the worse. So we're going to ask you rapid fire-style about some news stories we saw this week that seemed like good news. You tell us why they actually ended up being bad news. You ready to play?
All right. Real quick, Peter, the good news - here's the good news, Peter. SpaceX's new unmanned prototype, Starship SN10, successfully took off, executed this cool flip in midair and came back down for a perfectly safe landing. That's the good news. What's the bad news?
GROSZ: The bad news is it was not supposed to come down.
SAGAL: No, the bad news was it then blew up. Eight minutes later, it exploded on the launchpad. So just remember, if you fly SpaceX, deplane quickly.
SAGAL: Brian, the good news - a maskless woman in a supermarket in South Africa was asked to cover her face, and she did. What's the bad news?
BABYLON: She did it with her underpants.
SAGAL: That's exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: They said to her, you've got to put on a mask. She said fine. She reached under her skirt. She pulled off her underwear. She put it on her face. Even worse, it was a thong, so it didn't completely cover her face.
LAURISTON: (Gasping, laughter) I can't believe this.
SAGAL: You're gasping, Charla. You're gasping.
LAURISTON: Come on, lady (laughter).
SAGAL: Well, you know, she was trying to make a point. Finally, Charla, the good news - a priest in Brazil, despite the pandemic, was able to make the rounds in his neighborhood. He visited two supermarkets and a pharmacy in the course of just one hour. What's the bad news?
LAURISTON: He got COVID?
SAGAL: Peter, do you know?
GROSZ: He had COVID to begin with. Then he walked around spreading it?
SAGAL: No, the bad news was he robbed all three places.
SAGAL: The priest robbed all three stores with a plastic gun. He says he was just abiding by the Bible verse, blessed are the meek, for they shall hand over the cash. No marked bills. Put it in the bag quick, quick, quick.
BABYLON: Who was this? Guido Father Sarducci? Who was that?
SAGAL: Something like that. And now the good news is the game is over.
(SOUNDBITE OF LEON BRIDGES SONG, "BAD BAD NEWS") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.