21 years later, Brittany and her daughter Rylie Rasmussen came to StoryCorps’ mobile tour stop in Salt Lake City to talk about their experience, the importance of staying connected and how Brittany’s choice of adoption led to a life-long bond between two families.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Brittany Bench: I was in my sophomore year of college, and everyone around me was partying and thinking about what they're going to do on the weekend for their date night and I was in a much different place. It's hard to imagine that now, I feel like the time has gone by so fast, and suddenly you're a 21-year-old, and here we are discussing it, when at the time, it was just all I could do was try to think about what was best. But it was really hard (at the time) to imagine what the actual future looks like.
Rylie Rasmussen: I can't imagine giving up a baby for adoption. And I see (that) that would be the hardest choice.
BB: It was the hardest thing. But I knew so much that I wanted you to have the family that I grew up with. I wanted two parents for you, and I didn't have that (at that time), and it was important for me. When I read the profile that your parents put together, I just knew — I just had this instant knowing that they were the right family.
RR: The day that they found out that they were getting me was the day that they found out that they were finally pregnant with my brother Carter. Because they struggled with infertility for 10 years, they went through a failed adoption, and it's definitely not a coincidence that our families crossed paths and that we've grown together as much as we have. That’s something that I will be grateful for for a really long time.
BB: I have to say that just most recently, something that really cemented that relationship for me was when my dad died. Your family, they were one of the first people there. They dropped everything to come to the funeral; your dad was a pallbearer. The support that I felt from them, and with you also being there, it was one of the things that I will never forget as something that was one of the hardest things I've ever been through in the darkest time to have your family there for us.
RR: Seeing the way that that (time) brought people together, and the way that it kind of solidified the weaving together of our families, was really cool to watch, even from a distance.
BB: You're still in my life. And I'm just really grateful that our lives have kind of gone the way they have and (there has) never been a moment where I've regretted what happened. But more than anything, I just felt like it gave our lives a little bit more depth and capacity to kind of be a bigger family.
RR: I feel like in every circumstance that it's been a blessing in my life, too.
BB: You're stuck with me forever, babe.
RR: I wouldn't want it any other way.