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Panel Questions

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Jessi Klein, Yassir Lester and Tom Papa. And here again is your host - he's not Tom, but he's all papa - Peter Sagal.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill sings "Santeria," his favorite Sub-rhyme song in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call - 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tom, police in Italy recovered a museum's stolen 500-year-old painting. And the museum responded by telling the police what?

TOM PAPA: Don't bother looking for it?

SAGAL: No, they had already found it.

PAPA: Oh, keep it.

SAGAL: No, they took it back.

PAPA: I don't know. Can you give me a clue?

SAGAL: Yeah, well, they said, oh, that explains the blank spot on the wall.

PAPA: Oh, we had no idea it was missing.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This portrait of Christ, believed to have been painted by a student of Leonardo da Vinci, was discovered in an apartment in Rome after police got a tip it was there. They recovered it. They brought it back to the museum. And the museum responded like, oh, yeah, thanks. We were totally looking for that.

PAPA: (Laughter) Another Jesus.

SAGAL: Yeah, exactly. It's a Renaissance painting. They all were of Jesus, you know?

PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: What's one more Jesus? It's - it is, in fact, a valuable painting. It is a copy of Leonardo's "Salvator Mundi," which at $450 million is the most expensive painting ever sold. But this isn't that painting. This is a copy made at the same time it was created. So it's not so much a "Mona Lisa" as kind of a Mona Stephanie.

PAPA: (Laughter) So why is that valuable? The - it's a - it's his student...

SAGAL: Yes.

PAPA: ...Who copies the original work. And then...

SAGAL: Well, it's still a - you know, it's a painting from the studio of Leonardo da Vinci. It was painted by somebody - I guess it's valuable even if Leonardo didn't, like, actually paint it. It's valuable that Leonardo at one point looked over his shoulder and said, are you really going to do it that way?

PAPA: (Laughter) Yeah, I just cut a new album from Drake's parking garage.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Yeah. And?

SAGAL: Jessi, great news. A new study shows that the way to unlimited happiness is simply to acquire as much what as possible?

JESSI KLEIN: Money.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: That's right.

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SAGAL: And the reason that this is a little interesting that...

KLEIN: Oh, wait. Was I really right?

SAGAL: You were absolutely right. It's money, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's the answer. Sorry, everybody who were thinking, you know, family, love, children...

KLEIN: (Laughter) That's so depressing.

SAGAL: ...Well-being, sense of self-worth. Nope. It's money. Everybody had thought because of prior studies that after a certain point, say, when you no longer have to worry about housing or food or having to remember which streaming services you signed up for, more money doesn't make you any happier. But a Wharton School of Business study finds that no, no matter what, more money makes you happier. Here's how it works. Say you bought GameStop stock at a high point on Thursday and felt great. Now you're depressed. Get it?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, the gain - just in case you're like, oh, my God, now you know because you listen to our show that all these years, you should have been going out and getting money instead of loved ones and important, you know, connections to other people. The gains diminish as you get richer. Keep that in mind. So if you're utterly broke, and someone gives you a $50 bill, you say, oh, thank you so much. My God, you've saved me. But if you have a million dollars in the bank, and somebody gives you a $50 bill, you say, thank you. I had a cold coming on, and I'm out of Kleenex.

YASSIR LESTER: (Laughter).

PAPA: GameStop, baby.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: GameStop. I made it all on - I'm - a GameStop millionaire is what I am. It occurs to me - is that going to be cool? Somebody says, man, wow, what a nice house. Where did you get the money? And you say GameStop. Is that, like, going to be a cool thing to say?

PAPA: Yeah, this is - GameStop built this house? Yeah, that sounds pretty dope.

(LAUGHTER)

LESTER: All of - everything sounds at a certain point - how you made your money and got a big house kind of sounds ridiculous to me. You know what I mean? Like, and there's never anyone who has, like, a super impressive house where they told me, and I go like, wow, that seems cool. Like, it's never like, oh, I actually - you know, I'm the world's most famous oncologist. It's always like someone who's like, oh, I invented a skateboard that goes backwards. And you're like, OK.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: A skateboard that goes backwards deserves everything it gets.

SAGAL: Wow. I didn't even know that was possible.

LESTER: Yeah, wow. Cool, you have 12 bathrooms? Wow.

PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Tom, if you're feeling a bit of pandemic stress, The Washington Post's wellness column says crying can help you feel better, but it only benefits you if you do it how?

PAPA: Into a pillow?

SAGAL: No.

PAPA: Out loud.

SAGAL: No.

PAPA: In front of other people?

SAGAL: Yes, in front of other people.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: That's right, Tom.

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SAGAL: A recent column from The Washington Post explains there are many benefits believed to be associated with a good sob. You experience a release of tension. You release toxins. You get more screen time on "The Bachelor." But the article says you only get these benefits if you do it in front of someone. Thank you, Washington Post. What a great time to give advice that I can only follow if I happen to be a person with a friend.

PAPA: (Laughter) This depends on who you live with, though. I mean...

SAGAL: Yeah.

PAPA: You know, I've got two daughters and my wife and the pug. They depend on me to kind of keep it together. They don't need me walking into the kitchen...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: ...Just sobbing (laughter) 'cause I can't go to outdoor dining anymore.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: Oh, come on, Tom. You know that every girl loves to see her father cry.

PAPA: Yeah (laughter).

KLEIN: Every little girl yearns for a weeping dad.

SAGAL: Your daughters' going to be like, oh, Dad's really sad. We better throw the pug in the pool again.

(LAUGHTER)

LESTER: Hey, hey, little Papa daughter, how'd you grow up to be such a strong woman? Oh, my dad cried in front of me every day.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Just cover - just walking through the house with a duvet cover on his body like a robe.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Literally never seen my dad with a dry eye.

PAPA: No.

KLEIN: Do you know what I have to - can I just advocate for what I think is the best cry? 'Cause I - you know, at this moment with this audience, I'd like to make a recommendation. In these tough times, if you can make your way to a drive-through car wash, there is no sob for me that I look forward to more than just once the water hits that windshield, and I can just turn on a song and really picture myself in some kind of indie movie.

PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: I mean, do you do that - I mean, do the - does the water splashing on the car from the car wash inspire you to cry? Or is it more like, oh, my God, my - I'm about to break out in sobs - quick, I have to drive to the car wash?

KLEIN: I just like feeling like I'm in a very sad, little submarine...

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: ...Being attacked by an octopus with long, long legs.

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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