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Lightning Fill In The Blank

MAZ JOBRANI, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Peter has two. Karen has two. And Hari has three.

JOBRANI: Peter and Karen, you guys are tied for last place.

PETER GROSZ: Yay.

JOBRANI: So I'm going to randomly say, Karen, you can go first, all right?

KAREN CHEE: OK.

JOBRANI: So the clock starts when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Following the ouster of Liz Cheney, GOP leader Kevin McCarthy affirmed that no one questions the legitimacy of the blank.

CHEE: The election?

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Monday, the World Health Organization said the COVID variant developing in blank poses a global health threat.

CHEE: In India?

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Monday, the White House approved the first major offshore blank farm in the United States.

CHEE: Wind turbine farm.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: After being robbed, a bakery in Milwaukee asked for the public's help by handing out pictures of the thief printed on blank.

CHEE: Paper.

JOBRANI: No, wrong. Delicious sugar cookies. On Wednesday, Chipotle announced they would raise their blank to $15 an hour.

CHEE: Pay.

JOBRANI: Yes, minimum wage.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, a zoo in China was criticized...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: ...For not warning guests about blank before they visited.

CHEE: Killer animals?

JOBRANI: I'm going to give it to you. Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: The leopards that had escaped earlier. Officials say that three leopards escaped their enclosure, and no one at the zoo bothered to tell anyone.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Fortunately, two of the leopards were captured quickly, but the third one is still on the loose. The zoo isn't worried, though, and says the pack of rabid hyenas that escaped last week should take care of them sooner or later. Bill, how did Karen do?

KURTIS: She had five right, 10 more points. She now has 12. And, Karen, you're in the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

CHEE: All right. Game over. We're done.

JOBRANI: OK, Peter, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the CDC said that fully vaccinated people could be indoors without blanks.

GROSZ: Masks.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Sunday, Senator Bernie Sanders called for passing the $2 trillion blank bill without the GOP.

GROSZ: The next spendy one.

JOBRANI: Infrastructure bill.

GROSZ: Infrastructure spending.

JOBRANI: Yes. This week, the Federal Reserve hinted it may raise blanks to combat rising inflation.

GROSZ: The interest rates.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: After the White House reopened the exchange, over 1 million additional people applied for blank.

GROSZ: Obamacare?

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: After 19 seasons on TV and numerous allegations of running a toxic workplace, blank announced she was canceling her daytime talk show.

GROSZ: Ellen DeGeneres.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, a man in London realized...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: ...He wasted two years of his life after discovering blank in his apartment.

GROSZ: Ellen DeGeneres.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: I don't know.

JOBRANI: That's a good answer, but wrong. He had a dishwasher. The man was shocked, posting on Twitter, quote, (imitating British accent) "Lived in this flat for two years and only just discovered it has a dishwasher." Apparently, the appliance was made to blend in with the cabinetry, and he never bothered to check what that handle was connected to. He then followed up the tweet the next day saying, (imitating British accent) you're not going to believe this, but I finally opened the closed door. It turns out my apartment has had a bathroom the whole time.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Bill, how did Peter do?

KURTIS: Well, good. He got four right for eight more points. He now has 10. But Karen still has the lead with 12.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

GROSZ: You're allowed to say Peter did bad.

JOBRANI: All right, and how many does Hari need to win?

KURTIS: Well, he only needs five to win.

JOBRANI: All right, Hari, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the CDC endorsed using Pfizer's blank on teenagers.

HARI KONDABOLU: Pfizer's vaccine.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Monday, President Biden restored health care protections for transgender people, reversing policies enacted by...

KONDABOLU: The Trump administration.

KONDABOLU: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Tuesday, a federal judge dismissed blank's petition for bankruptcy.

KONDABOLU: The NRA.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, a group of doctors in Japan warned about holding the blank during the pandemic.

KONDABOLU: The baby.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Wrong. The Olympics.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: With rising prices leading to increased theft, Target announced they no longer sell blank for the safety of their staff.

KONDABOLU: Guns.

JOBRANI: Wrong - Pokemon cards.

On Thursday, Elon Musk announced that you could no longer purchase a Tesla with blank.

KONDABOLU: Bitcoin.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: On Tuesday, 40 U.S. attorneys general sent a letter urging Facebook to not create a version of blank for kids.

KONDABOLU: Instagram.

JOBRANI: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: This week, a bride in India...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: ...Dumped her groom at the altar after discovering he couldn't blank.

KONDABOLU: For personal reasons, I cannot answer that question.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: He couldn't complete a math test. The woman had started to think that her husband to be had lied about his extensive educational background. So she decided to test them during their wedding ceremony. After he failed to complete a standard multiplication table, she left him on the spot. So while the groom may not know eight times 15, he does know that one is the loneliest number.

KONDABOLU: Reinforcing stereotypes. Why not just say win a spelling bee?

GROSZ: (Laughter).

JOBRANI: Bill, how did Harry do? Did he do well enough to win?

GROSZ: He needed five. He got five for 10 more points - means with 13, he is this week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

KONDABOLU: I'm the winner.

GROSZ: Razor thin margins.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

JOBRANI: Way to go, Hari. And good effort to Peter and Karen, you guys. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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