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Panel Round Two

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bodden, Jessi Klein, and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much. In just one minute, Bill says despite all the bad things, he admired Mussolini because he made the trains run on rhyme.

(SOUNDBITE OF JEERING)

KURTIS: Thank you.

SAGAL: You're welcome. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge coming up. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Jessi, in response to the rising demand for locally sourced artisanal food, fast food companies are now doing what?

(LAUGHTER)

JESSI KLEIN: I actually do know the answer to this question, I think. They're faking making the food look like it was made by people. But...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right. They're making the food look imperfect.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KLEIN: ...but even though it's still made by a machine...

SAGAL: Right.

KLEIN: They're basically saying, this egg McMuffin is a shape that shouldn't occur in nature.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: So let's rough up the edges a scoch, but it's still made by a robot that's been dead for a million years.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's exactly right because people are getting more and more interested in handmade artisanal food, whatever. So fast food companies like McDonald's and Domino's are hiring food engineers to make their food artificially look natural.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Yeah.

SAGAL: You know, so it'll appeal to the people who like their food that looks like it was made by a blind hippie on a deadline. So instead of, you know, McDonald's famous perfectly round egg discs in the egg McMuffin, like you said, or Domino's geometrically perfect pizzas, your fast food will come with rough uneven edges and bits of char to give it the appearance of being handmade in a factory full of artisanally shaped food molds.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I worked in fast foods and I always made mine look like someone had touched them.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: I just think it's funny the idea that any of these companies think that there's some, like, very dedicated foodie who's ordering from Domino's.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: You know, I mean, like it's just somebody who really cares about local ingredients. And then it's like, yeah I'll get an Oreo pizza.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Jessi, it's hard to wake up in the morning, we all know. Well, a new alarm clock promises to get us out of bed once and for all. What does it do if you don't get up?

KLEIN: Oh, I already don't want it.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: So there's like - it's like there's a threat involved.

SAGAL: There's a threat. If you don't get up, go over to the alarm clock and turn it off, it will do something.

KLEIN: Oh, it will shoot poison at your face.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you sleep in, you'll be well rested but broke.

KLEIN: So it'll debit your money from you.

SAGAL: No, no. It's - I'll give you another hint. It's got a paper shredder built in.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: It will shred cash?

SAGAL: It will shred your cash.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This is how it works. You're somebody who've tried everything to get out of bed in the morning, nothing works. You've drunk hot coffee, you've poured hot coffee in your pants, you've released a pack of hungry wolves into your bedroom, nothing's worked. Well, Seattle inventor Rich Olsen has invented an alarm clock. It's got a little paper shredder and you put in some money, $1 bill, $50 bill, $100 bill, whatever you need to motivate yourself, right?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And if you sleep in and the alarm goes off and you do not get up, walk over and turn off the alarm within, like, a minute, fires up, shreds your money.

KLEIN: Honestly, I have to say if it's that hard for you to wake up in the morning, I'm assuming you don't have any money.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: I mean, it's not that hard.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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