Deanna Holland and three of her five children were excited about Charlie Kirk’s visit to Utah Valley University.
Holland is the executive director of Pro-Life Utah, and she and her husband homeschool their kids. She thought the first stop on Kirk’s American Comeback Tour was an opportunity to give them an important experience. And it was a chance for them to hear about conservative values from someone other than their parents.
It was also a chance to practice something she believes Kirk stood for.
“Charlie Kirk does such a great job of talking to people,” Holland said. “And you know, we got there an hour early, just so that we could kind of have that experience of, how do you have a dialogue with someone that you don't agree with?”
Because they got there early, her 12-year-old son was restless. He had headed down to the very front because, as Holland put it, “that’s where the action was,” and he hoped to say hello to Kirk.
Decked out in a MAGA hat and a pro-life t-shirt, he also talked with those waiting in line to debate Kirk themselves.
She tried to bring him back to the family as the crowd grew, but he convinced her to let him return to the front.
“The crowd has been very respectful of each other. We're kind of over near the line where people that were more liberal leaning were and yet it was very calm. We had a ton of people that were excited and happy, and I felt like it was quite safe.”
Then, the shot that killed Charlie Kirk cracked through the air.
“It was really loud, and it took a second for your brain to kind of register it. And my very first thought was of my son.”
Holland and her 18-year-old daughter, Grace, decided to split up. Grace went to find her brother, and Holland got her 14-year-old daughter to safety. But his sister couldn’t find him — and she and Holland started shouting for him. That’s when people hiding behind a car joined in.
“You know, I said, ‘I've lost my son.’ And they said, ‘What's his name?’ And they helped me call his name.”
Grace found her brother, and the family made their way back to the car. There was still chaos. The parking lot was jammed. Even though everyone was scared, Holland said people weren’t trying to jump the line or get ahead of each other.
It wasn’t until she got to the highway that she asked her son, “Did somebody help you?”
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
Pamela McCall: What did he say?
Deanna Holland: He said, “Yes.” He had gotten down in that little crack between that first big cement level step and the fencing that, you know, separated them from Charlie's tent. And got down for a minute, and then kind of started to follow people as they left. And so, you know, where would he have gone? What was he going to do? A girl that was in the line to speak to Charlie. She said, “Stay here. It's going to be OK.” He had an instruction. He was in probably what I consider to be one of the safest places at that point in time.
And he told me that she was wearing, like a satanic shirt, you know? It had the goat head with the star around it, right? So that's all I knew about her.
PM: If you had the chance to sit down with the woman wearing that satanic t-shirt, what would you talk about?
DH: You know, I would probably, for sure, give her a hug and let her know I appreciate her. He had been down there right by the people in that line for over an hour before the event started, and he'd been hearing their conversations. He was wearing his Pro-Life Utah t-shirt with his MAGA hat, and they had even been talking about abortion. We were opposite, polar opposites in religion and politics, and yet she saw my child as a human being. She realized he was alone, and she took care of my son in just this very small way in that moment.
PM: You've called the events of the day horrific, but was there something else you took away from your family's experience?
DH: You know, when people are scared, you don't really know what you're going to do. And in general, from where I was at, I felt like people were thinking of others, not just themselves. So even though we were scared, and I had my 14-year-old daughter in my hands, and I had to wait as we were going down those stairs, you know, nobody was trampling on each other. As I was going down the stairs, I realized there was a very elderly woman on my left, and I held her hand the last couple of steps down the stairs. That was just an automatic reaction. She and I just grabbed hands.
There is a belief in me, right, that we have a good community that surrounds us. People do care, and in general, that's what I saw there that day. It was horrifying to have someone who was such a light in this movement to our country be murdered right there in front of us. And yet, you know, we had differing opinions there that day, and I felt like there was just no real conflicts between those two sides. Gives me hope. You know, we have good community, and we can disagree, and we can still respect each other and see each other as human beings.
