Five million people around the world watched season 2 of “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” just five days after its mid-May release.
The reach of the show is mind-boggling – even to the cast.
“It's crazy to conceptualize,” newest cast member Miranda McWhorter told KUER. “I don't think we really have grasped how widespread it's been.”
From “Secret Lives” to “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” and beyond, Utah has itself become a reality TV star. And the shows’ depictions of life here are influencing how outsiders and insiders view the state.
If you’re not in the know, here’s the download: “Secret Lives” focuses on nine women who first gained notoriety on TikTok. Most were born and raised in Utah and have strong ties (practicing or not) to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — the state’s dominant religion. The women’s behavior doesn’t fit the perceived notion of a Latter-day Saint woman. All of them wear clothing the church would consider immodest. Some drink alcohol. Some are divorced and single mothers. Some have sex outside of marriage.
The show “definitely challenges social norms within Utah and religious norms,” McWhorter said.
For outsiders, Utah and LDS culture are mysterious. Janelle Silva, a psychology professor at the University of Washington who teaches a class about the psychology of reality TV, knew the genre would flourish in Utah. That’s because the many shows set here offer a glimpse into a life that feels secret to those outside the state or who didn’t grow up in the church.
“We want to see what this world looks like, especially a world that many of us don't know anything about,” she said. “It's a culture that's just so unique and fascinating.”
Before meeting her Utah-native husband, Silva didn’t know much about the state. And before she had ever paid a visit to Utah, she thought of it as Mormon, religious, church affiliated and sheltered.
But she said “Secret Lives” is breaking the stereotypes non-Utahns associate with the state. Yes, they are mothers, but they are also entrepreneurs and the breadwinners of their families. In the first episode of season 2, cast member Mikayla Matthews says she makes more money in one brand deal than her husband does in an entire year. Jessi Ngatikaura, another wife on the show, built JZ Styles, a hair care and products empire.
“Their only goal is not just to be a member of the church, build a big family and be a mother and be [an] active church member,” Silva explained. “They also have other goals and ambitions too that people can relate with. You see that as a reality. And I think that's really important.”
Twenty-four-year-old cast member Layla Taylor wasn’t born into the church like the other women. She converted when she was 16, but later became pregnant out of wedlock. While she said the family pressure to conform wasn’t there, the cultural pressure was. The show, Taylor said, gave her a path to begin to shed what she considers self-shame.
“I feel like the more and more we get into this, the more and more I'm just like, ‘I don't really care. Accept me as who I am. And if you don't, then that's OK,’” Taylor told KUER.
Not all Utahns or Latter-day Saints appreciate the depictions of their home state or the church in these shows. The church released a statement that rebuked the way they portray the religion, calling some of the content “gross misrepresentations that are in poor taste and have real-life consequences for people of faith.” There have been books and op-eds written opposing the content of “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.”
The cast members are aware of the heat. They discuss it openly in the show. Taylor, who is no longer active in the church, said the women aren’t trying to represent the LDS Church as a whole.
“We're just trying to share individualized journeys within the faith,” she said.
Meg Walter, a culture columnist at Deseret News, a church-owned media outlet, is an avid reality TV consumer. She admits she has gotten defensive at times over how “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” and “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” painted the culture.
“That’s not my Utah experience. That's not my experience with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You don't represent me,” she said. “But I have learned to let go of that.”
Even though she doesn’t believe the shows are a realistic representation of Utah, Walter said it does provide insiders with different perspectives of the culture that they may not have considered. It may also be opening minds and perhaps allowing longtime Utahns to reinvent their lives in ways that suit them.
“What we're seeing on both of these shows are people who have just kind of carved their own path in the Utah culture,” Walter said. “And I think that other people can aspire to that and think, ‘Oh, that's possible for me as well.’”
But for cast member Miranda McWhorter, this is her actual life. And people having those lightbulb moments is part of the reason she said they put it all out there for the world to see — the good, the bad and the ugly.
“I think breaking some of the expectations and the shame cycles that sometimes come with the culture of it all is, I think, part of the goal here, for sure,” she said.
And online, fans rave about how validating and comforting it is to know they’re not alone. The reality TV shows are broaching a conversation some feel is long overdue about Utah culture and the reach of the church into the state’s history, business and education.
For better or for worse — Walter thinks the shows prove a point.
“If there's a message to be taken from these shows, it's that there's room for both. In Utah, there's room for all kinds of people with all kinds of beliefs,” she said. “And it may have taken us a while to make that room, but we're getting better.”
